5/29/2008

Thursday, May 29, 2008

I'm starting to think there is no such thing as coincidence. Last month (and since) it seems I've been strangely preoccupied with thoughts of people who died many years ago. Suddenly I'm dealing with thoughts and feelings about people who have just died. No fun at all... I imagine seeing Randy's Pausch's "Last Lecture" contributed to why I've been thinking about Cailtyn, Subodai, Edward and others. Randy has been in the news alot over the past few months because he is dying of pancreatic cancer and yet retains a certain joy about life.

When I read the news that Duke Jean Richard had died suddenly the only thing I could think of was what Randy said about "time is all you have... and you may find one day that you have less than you think." Both Russ and Randy are 47 and it is incredibly unfair-bordering-on-criminal that anyone should face the end of their mortal life at such a young age. (Yes, I hit 40 and the 40s have now become young :P.)

Anyway, Randy is always saying he is grateful - not for his cancer, but for the advance notice of his death - mostly because he has had time to prepare his family for that eventuality. He has found clever ways to show his children (who at 6 and younger are probably too young to retain clear memories of their father into adulthood) just how much he loves them. I hate that Russ got no such advanced notice. However.... one thing I do know....

Russ absolutely and totally loved his family. He always spoke about Anne/Kim with respect, love and a certain reverence that made every other woman in earshot envious. His devotion to his kids was in everything he did. I remember he'd always stop to talk about them, even when there were a million things going on at an event. Especially when they didn't get to come with him.

If leaving a legacy of love and devotion to your family is what an average man would do given advanced notice of his own demise then Russ can certainly rest well. If I (as a distant friend) know how much he loved his wife and children, I'm certain they do too. 

I'll always remember Jean Richard from my earliest days in the SCA - Mooneschadowe St. Valentines Feast & Revel where I first met him... to the War College in Elfsea where every weasel on site was so smashed it was pathetic... to fighter practices in Wiesenfeuer before he learned to fight left-handed... to his move to Stargate where he devoted himself to the path of knighthood... to my Pelican vigil where we laughed at the irony of how far we'd both come from where we started (that he was the King about to elevate me to peerage). Then... a few months later... when he was the king hosting the Crown Tournament my husband won. 

We handled a lot of sensitive situations together during his last few months as King and our time as his heirs. We learned much that carried into our own time on the Throne. There aren't many men in or out of the SCA that my husband respects and looks to for guidance, but Jean Richard had this way of saying things where it really didn't even feel like advice (because, believe me, if it sounds like advice it comes through on a frequency that husbands cannot hear. ;). I'll always be grateful for Jean Richard's input to Barn, especially about putting the past in perspective and then putting it behind you. 

Folks who knew Jean Richard only from his "get drunk and clown around" days might not know, but in addition to being a lot of fun he was a very wise, insightful man and a good friend. I was privileged to know him in all of these contexts.  

There is a quote from the new Indiana Jones movie stuck in my head. (This might be paraphrased, due to my advanced age and fading memory): "We've reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away." I don't think we're ever so old that life stops giving us things that bring us joy, but damn, it sure does seem like the older you get that more taking gets done and the instances of giving are fewer and further between...

Countess Kat (Katrionna McLocainn)